Many people feel the same. You're right, though, that it's incredibly hard to discuss certain ideas in some environments. In many Muslim countries, it's downright dangerous to even say you're no longer a Muslim, and other religions still have little pockets where it can ruin your life to try to leave your religion. If you have a deep desire to talk about this stuff in safety, doing it anonymously online is your safest option - get yourself a VPN and some internet friends. I wish you the best brother.
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